Darn This Feeling

While searching for a nice quote about happiness (why I'm searching it will be in some random entry) I stumbled upon this quote:

photo downloaded from Google

 Plot twist I reiterated, I needed it, a hell lot of it! I dunno, maybe I'm tired, or maybe bored. I want changes in my life, and also, I wanted changes in me. 

Yesterday, I met R, I did mention in one of my entries that I will stop writing about him bt, this needs to be written. He wanted to see me, said he will be at the office after his shift. Nt that I liked the idea, just partly. This is nt the first time we saw each other, he attended the last talk in our community, nt that we talked, just nodded and smiled.

It's funny this time tho, how we so casually blurted out details of our lives when in fact we don't need to. When in fact, these things play significant roles to us that telling it to just acquaintances would nt be right . Family, house, life. Maybe that's because we are too familiar with each other. Or maybe the feeling is still there that talking about these things came out naturally. Feeling, my feelings, it did nt changed, well yes I can logically weigh things over bt emotionally, I'm still stuck. His face did nt change, it didn't have an effect on me, even his smile, nor his body, that's what my brain wanted me to believe, so I did. While talking to him, I realized, this is me, this is what I usually am, my comfort zone. This is what it's supposed to feel. This is the love that I've been looking for. The feeling that he has given me, the sense of security. He's just the very definition of my own version of love. And I die.


P L O T  T W I S T !!


I need change.

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sometimes, you self destruct