I tried saying it by looks, but he has that far-off
eyes
I tried it through a letter, but it was blown by the
wind and was carried by the waves away
Then I thought of doing it through text, but we were
never friends, so I don't have his phone number.
Soo I tried my last resort, the day was fine and the
students were already on their way home, I came back from throwing the trash, he
was there, sitting calmly in his chair, breathe in breathe out my best friend
once reminded me, so I did, and felt that slight relief and surge of
confidence.
He was there, the love of my life. There it was, the
dream I am meaning to make a reality, but my voice betrayed me. It ran like the
coward that I am the day I was supposed to sit beside him.
One normal day, our professor introduced us to a new
student, and I never really cared because he's got a pink pen and a rabbit teeth.
His seat was in front mine, he even asked me my
name.
He was neither timid nor intelligent, but there was
something in him that draws people.
Maybe because he tries to answer questions even though
his answers were wrong, or because he always volunteers to do the reporting
that my classmates finds laborious and just plainly boring, or maybe, that's
because he does not use complicated words in his essays whenever our professors
asks one, he would say, "they don't even use those words, so why bother
use them" his tone, that when pushed a little, would sound kind of
arrogant.
He was never my friend, because I hate his guts and
his wits and most of all, I hate his teeth.
So at the day our Prof. assigned us to a different
seating arrangement, I immediately agreed when a classmate asked to swap
places.
A girl, with a straight long hair and a slender body.
You could say it was love, because he is handsome and
she is pretty and they would make a great couple.
Because she is pretty, because she is intelligent,
because she asked me to swap places. so I did.
The next day, we were poles apart with that big barrier.
He never said a thing. I never said a thing. And we went on pretending to have
let the other exist in each other’s world but never really did.
On our 2nd year, my classmates were still drawn to him,
because he loves to sing and he can dance, do math problems, sleeps whenever he wants and has soft spots for stray puppies.
It was windy when I saw him carrying a box with a
small puppy inside. I was chasing something blown by the wind until it landed
in the lake beside where he was. He tried to catch it, but failed to do so, his
hands supported the box.
Because he was there and I was there, and there was
this wind, and this thing blown by it that we never had the chance to talk, and
he waved and smiled.
But he’s not my friend, I hate his guts, and his wits.
And more importantly, I hate his teeth.
After changing seats, I found myself beside him. And
because that girl who used to swap places was already in a different section,
and because no one ever mentioned of wanting to swap places with me so I sat
there quietly. And he never made a sound. And I never made a sound.
And we became 3rd yrs. and still pretended to have
existed in each other’s world when in reality, we never did.
And Christmas came and we sang our Christmas carols
and gained a small amount of money that we planned to use for our Valentines
booth.
And I saw him behind the school’s gym talking to that
girl with a straight long hair, and a slender body. And nobody cared, because
she is pretty and he is handsome and they make a great couple.
Because she is pretty and is still on him and because
they were there and I was there. so I never made a sound.
The next day, we were standing next to each other, but
felt poles apart. And there was this big barrier. Because he has her, and
because I know it.
So he’s not my friend. And I’ll hate his guts and his
wits. And most especially I will forever hate his rabbit teeth.
And then we reached our senior year. He grew his hair
long and I cut mine for a change and went on several dates. But he was still
beside my seat. And he never said a thing so I never said a thing.
And Valentines came, a fine day, I came back from
throwing the trash. And he was there and we were alone.
I tried to say it but then I remembered, he has her,
and she was intelligent, and was still on him and I knew it.
My voice betrayed me. So I never said a thing. And he
never said a thing. And right in that four-cornered room, we still pretended to
have existed in each other’s world when in reality, we never actually did.
so this day has fin'lly come!
