There Lies the Problem

During my highschool days, I never thought about relationships. But I've read about them. There's just soo many books about them. From strangers turned to lovers, friends turned to lovers to lovers turned to enemies turned to lovers again and the list goes on. I live there. In the comfort of the books. So I've never really experienced a real romance during high school, which supposed to be is the height of that.  

But because of books, I made a criteria, qualifications of my future boyfriend, and deym, there are too many! Well, I was idealistic that time. Just for FUN, here's the list:

QUALITIES OF A GUY (my version)

. Has a negative aura (long live the pessimists!)

. Quiet, timid, shy type, cool guy 

. Tall

. Small or petite (but heavier than me)

. Not white, not dark

. We have opposing beliefs (ha ha ha! So I can argue)

. Fights back when taunted or argued (in a sensible manner)

. Enjoys my being cynical about love (he he he!)

. Smarter than me, but lazier in that manner (hahaha xp)

. Loves my being narrow-headed (egocentric!)

. Talks only to me, smiles only to me (selfishness right)

. Does hover.. .only to me

. Laughs at my clumsiness (gyahaha)

. Easily gets jealous

. Gives time for everything, knows how to be caring

. Knows how to sing and dance too!

. Knows how to draw animated pics

. Loves ANIME!!!

. Not boastful to his deeds

Don't be quick to judge, I was a highschooler back then, and it's quite funny, I actually found the list in one of my "diary" hahaha it pays to have one ;) tho, I omitted some of the qualities, partly because it's too funny and partly because I don't want you guys to read it lol.

Six years later.

I've experienced love. Tried the sweep-you-off-your-feet moment! And fell hard. Like gesh! Really hard.

But it did not last. Good things never do. 

But don't worry, I'm moving on ha ha ha! 

This is just one of those times where I'd stop and think about the "how's" and the "why's". So when I found the list, I was kinda knocked by my senses, real hard. 

There lies the problem. 

We were too busy looking at a list of the qualities that we want we forgot to appreciate each other's differences. 

He, for one is a people person, he goes to his friends, drinks, have some night life. While here's me, who just enjoys the comfort of my home, a friggin home body. While he enjoys dancing, going to gym or going out to jog, I enjoy reading, watching anime, eating, watching movies at home or cinema. 

Add those up, it will be an awesome pair. 

At first.

But not for long. Because at some point, he started questioning why I don't allow him to drink with his friends. I started getting tired and turned down every invitation of going out with him and his friends. Every time I tell him about a manga or a book that I'ved read, he will just brush it off. Not really listening. Not really caring if I finished the story or not. 

We lost interest in each others interest. 

There lies the problem.

Maybe we have some of the qualities that we both were looking, but is it really an assurance? Will you be able to continuously love a person if they have all the qualities? will it be enough? 

No.

Because loving a person shouldn't be bounded by those. BECAUSE when you choose to love a person, you should love them as is. Who they are. What they're made of. What makes them "them". Their tears, laughter, their anger, anxiety, their face when they're hungry, pissed. All of it. Most importantly, what they will become.

If you can't, leave the person alone so the right one can come and love them right. 

So! I'm waiting for Mr. Right :) and I hope he will choose to still love me even if I'm broken, mean, selfish, rude or even if I change. 

---

because I'm soo deym tayeeeerd of going in circles.